Bibly albib oobibly.
“It’s getting warm outside,” the supermarket cashier declared, "It will be summer before we know it.”
For some reason, I decided the word indubitably was an appropriate response but, as I said it, my brain had a mini-stroke and it came out as “Indo bibly bibly.”
I should drink more water. My Uncle Keith had paralysis on the left side of his face from a stroke and it wasn’t pleasant to look at. The half that wasn’t paralyzed was pretty dreadful to look at too though, so it’s not as if his stroke meant the loss of any potential modeling contracts. If anything, the paralyzed side looked better; like it was just hanging out relaxed. To make up for the loss of expression, Uncle Keith over-emphasized his ‘good side’ expressions like a coked-up ventriloquist dummy. Slight smiles were terrifying grins, a raised eyebrow looked like he was riding in one of those spinning things that astronauts train in, and a mildly cross look looked like he was straining to push out a big poo. Sometimes I’d hold up my hand so I could only see the paralyzed side of his face while he was talking to me. He didn’t like that much and would take his poo straining expression to new levels. Luckily Uncle Keith had a second stroke a few years later which balanced things out a bit.
The cashier stared at me oddly and I decided my only recourse was to pretend I speak another language so I added, “Bibly albib oobibly.”
Remembering a few words from French lessons at school, I also threw in “la pomme” which I think means ‘the apple’.
“Will that be all for you today sir?”
“Bibly.”
“Your total is $35.98, credit or debit?”
“Bebit.”
“Would you like the receipt in the bag?”
“Bibly.”
“Have a nice day.”
“Bib boo.”