Being branded a sheep
I have always wanted a tattoo. The problem is that I have always considered people who get tattoos as sheep. Especially those that go in and order number fourteen off the wall of a dolphin for example. People who have tattoos of dolphins are, without exception, uneducated, cheap and blonde.
I decided that if I was going to be a sheep and get a tattoo, there was only one choice of tattoo to be permanently branded with.
I kind of had this idea that the tattoo place would be full of bikers who would try to sell me drugs (which i would have bought) and then take it in turns to bash me while Metallica played in the background. Or something like that, but the place was spotlessly clean, the environment relaxing and the guy who did my tattoo (Michael) both amused and amusing.
Tattoo You Emporium
As I was about to have my skin raped by a needle, I promised I would give them a plug on the website in return for not making it hurt too much. Despite having to be slapped and told to stop crying like a little bitch, I am a man of my word and personally would not let my skin be raped by a needle being wielded by anyone else.
The new book is out now.
The first book has debuted at #4 on the New York Times Bestseller list.
All new, never before published material.