I can’t wait to meet Jesus. He's magnificent.
Our neighbours, Carl and Toni, don’t own a television set. As Carl’s only hobbies are mowing his lawn and loving Jesus, I imagine evenings at their house are spent sitting in chairs reading Bible passages or staring at each other waiting to die.

“Did you say something, Carl?”
“No, I just swallowed loudly.”
“Ah.”
“Yes, I decided to swallow my candy rather than wait until it was sucked small enough to disappear. These new caramel apple filled Werther’s aren’t as good as the originals. We should have kept the receipt so I could staple it to my complaint letter to Mr Werther.”
“Yes, Dear... so.... I noticed the Thornes next door bought a new television. The box was out with their bins on collection day. It’s a Samsung. A HD one apparently.”
“The only HD we need is the Higher Deity, Toni.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“I can’t wait to meet Jesus.”
“Sorry?”
“Jesus. He’s magnificent.”
“Yes, Dear. He certainly is.”
“Did you know he has an army of angels and they all have flaming swords?”
“He has?”
“Yes. Well, not all of the angels have swords of course, some prefer harps. Mainly the girl angels. Because you need long fingernails to pluck the strings. “
“Yes, that makes sense.”
“Plus, there’s the servant angels.”
“Servant angels?”
“Yes, if you want a Werther’s, poof, an angel appears and gives you one. You don’t even have to ask, you just have to think about it and they show up with a whole packet. Of the original Werther’s of course, not these. Everyone’s telepathic in Heaven.”
“Really? I’m not sure how I’d feel about everyone knowing what I’m thinking.”
“Nobody cares what you’re thinking, Toni.”