I hav already spoken to my dad who is a hells angel about u
if u dnt want 5 hells angels knocking on ur door and beating the shit
out of u and breaking everything u own i wld back away

Lucius Thaller Unicorn Boy
There is an old saying that 'the true measure of a man is in the word he keeps' so it is safe to assume this means that one who does not keep his word, simply does not measure up.

Lucius is only 4"8.



Lucius once stated that if they lined up every guy in Adelaide, he would definitely be in the "top five best lookingest". While most females describe him as simply 'small', I see him more as a scale model of a budget male stripper. His height could be seen as an attribute though as he is able to hide in small spaces and everybody loves hobbits. Lord of the Rings was a great movie, it was written by Peter Jackson who also makes cigarettes.

When I was at high school, I was caught lying when a locker check confirmed that it was I who was in possession of a missing science lab microscope. I cannot recall exactly why I decided to steal it but we had looked at cheek cells through the microscopes that morning and I had read that sperm looks like tadpoles through a microscope a few weeks before so it does not take a mental giant to work out my intentions.

If someone I knew, say for example someone who once told me "If they lined up every guy in Adelaide, I would be in the top five best lookingest", was to come to me and say "David, I have to have another project designed for my boss by next week. Will you please do it for me as I am incapable" and I was to reply "I am sorry, that amount of work would take many days" and then they were to say "Please, I know it is a lot of work and this is the fourth time but I am desperate and need to appear competent to my boss, I will pay you in drugs (for example)" and I was to agree to the arrangement and the amount and stay up two nights working on his project so that he can pretend to not be useless to his boss, you would expect them to keep to their word. No?

In honour of all those that give their word, for example, to 'come around tomorrow night with the agreed payment for work rendered' then disappear, nuke calls and ditch you from their facebook list (Bahaha®), I present this limited edition T-Shirt with no markup. Purchase one before they are deleted!



Each shirt comes with it's very own miniature life size Lucius Doll.

Send Lucius an email and ask him "where are the drugs?" or leave a comment

Hello, my name is Lucius. When I am not busy buying unicorn figurines on ebay, I like to take photos of myself on my phone. I am one of the most attractive men in Adelaide, If they lined up every guy in the whole city, I would definitely be in the top five best lookingest. Sometimes I leave my bluetooth turned on, inadvertantly giving access of the photos to anybody.



Here I am checking my morning hair, using my mobile phone as a form of mirror by taking a shot and viewing it. I could not get access to the bathroom mirror due to my lover shaving in there and I wanted to look nice for when they came out. The unicorn quilt set, stickers and figurines are only a small part of my collection and each week I spend half my pay, eighty two dollars, on e-bay purchasing more. I love Unicorns, I think it is very sad that we allowed them to become extinct. Man is a selfish animal sometimes. We could have shared the world with them but we hunted them for the magical powers their horns possessed. If I had a unicorn I would meet it in the forest and be gentle with it until the day it trusted me enough to let me ride on its back.




In this shot, I am pretending I am a bee in the mens toilets. My hair is the stinger.




I took this photo on my way to a date with someone I met on facebook, or as I like to call it, my "online harem". In this shot I am practicing my patented 'I am serious about you, I think you may be my soulmate, don't forget to put on your seatbelt because I care about you' look before I beep my horn for them to come out. I always like to dress nicely for my dates and take them somewhere nice. The night of this photo we went into Mcdonalds rather than just through the drive-thru, despite how much better looking I am when not under flourescent lighting. This shows how willing I am to make sacrifices to please that night's special someone.




This is my 'Hey, how's it going, that's right you lucky thing, I am talking to you' look. It is the same look I use for 'Urinating when I have been busting for an hour' and 'Late twenties guy making friends in the playground'. I feel I look friendly, approachable and trustworthy in this photo and it is the one I use on dating sites. It is also the photo of me they used on the news.

UPDATE:

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 10.31am
I am getting your website banned as we speak.

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 10.39am
ur website will b shut down.

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 10.45am
I hav already spoken to my dad who is a hells angel about u so i suggest if u dnt want 5 hells angels knocking on ur door and beating the shit out of u and breaking everything u own i wld back away.

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 11.02am
the hells angels dnt give a shit about police. u have until wednesday or u will hav people at ur door thurs nite, it wont matter if ur not home.

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 11.05am
the hells angels wont care if your son is there. u hav til wed

From: Lucius Thaller Mon 5.1.2009 11.16am
I wldnt fuck with me i am the wrong person and i say this with fear for ur safety as u are gong to get hurt. Wed.